Iranian Grandmother Marries Her Own Great-Grandson To Get Visa

Laleh Jannati, 84-year-old grandmother, had her fourth wedding, last Saturday. Only this time, the groom was her own great-grandson, from her second marriage.

The shocking move came after Trump’s travel ban came into effect, which excluded grandparents from being considered as “close family”.

“Octogenarians marrying isn't novelty,” said Garshasp Mohtashami, who officiated the couple’s wedding, “but marrying their own kids’ kids’ kids is something very new."

Laleh is very excited about the wedding. Iranians who are above 80 years get to keep all the gifts, in case they get married to an Iranian.

Although, the new-old bride confessed that she wasn’t here to feel like a princess or for the money. “I wanted to be in America for the fourth of July parade.” Laleh said, as her eyes filled with youthful tears of joy.

According to the Iranian wedding tradition (which follows the rituals highlighted in the Zoroastrian code of conduct), the groom, on the night of the wedding, is supposed to take his bride on a blind donkey on a busy road, while the bride and the groom stuff their mouths with sour grapes and blindfold their eyes. “The donkey game is supposed to test the compatibility of the newly-married couple.” Blurted a sloshed Christopher Mahamood, ex-husband of Laleh. If the couple is successful in maneuvering the donkey to the finish line without falling off or getting killed, they can choose to eat the donkey if they liked.

“My grandma is naturally half-blind.” Said a concerned Hamid, who was also concerned that if he and his grandmother didn’t take the compatibility ride, then he would be labelled “impotent” by the society.

Renowned feminist, Maseh Farghadani, gifted Laleh with a thousand US dollars for her honeymoon trip to the United States and took to Twitter to applaud Laleh’s audacious move, “I am so proud of Laleh. Laleh, you are a true inspiration to us!”

Hassan Rouhani, current president of Iran, has threatened to assassinate Trump if he doesn’t cut some slack for the immigrants from the banned countries. “I know the President likes his daughter, but we don’t raise our kids to love their kids or the kids of their kids in that way. Our religion just doesn’t permit it.”

Thousands of bubbies have already registered on and are waiting for their prince charming to rescue them and take them to the land of opportunity.

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