Mumbai Company Gives Its Male Employees A Paid Leave For Having Nightfall

MUMBAI - Slush, a misogynistic company that makes lucky charm bracelets from leftover vegetables for retired astronomers, has just announced that it will give paid leaves to male employees who have had a nightfall, the previous night.

Speaking to Bombay Mirror, Slush’s new CEO, Rajat Mittal, said, “A lot of our male employees feel embarrassed to come to work the morning after the nightfall. So if an employee has a nightfall, he can take an off the next day.”

The company has also started an online petition called StandForYourFall.Org, which is addressed to the Minister of Human Welfare Development, Prakash Patel, requesting him to make this leave policy a mandate across companies in India. Additionally, Slush is hoping to leverage Narendra Modi’s charisma to help take the quintessence of the new leave policy beyond borders and make it a worldwide phenomena, bringing relief to millions of helpless men.

“This morning,” said a teary-eyed Girish Shanmugam, who heads the marketing department in Slush, “when they held a big camera at my face and told me that henceforth I need not worry about coming to work the morning after nightfall, I got emotional and threw up on the camera.”

The edited video, which contains the reactions of 109 male employees when they were told for the first time of the new leave policy in their male-dominated boutique, is already trending at #1 spot in both Youtube and Facebook.

Expressing his admiration for the new leave policy, Regional Director of Human Resources, Kapil D’Souza, lamented and commented, “I wish days like this existed in my college days. Now, I have no use for it. But I am glad that at least now, I won't have my employees calling in sick due to ‘stomach ache’.”

Although this policy is bound to bring some hostility to the only two women in the office, the remaining men should be able to “get away with it”, feels Sheetal Gavaskar, Managing Partner and Co-founder of Slush.

When we asked the public what they felt about Slush’s unconventional leave policy, a senior client servicing manager, who wished not to be named (as he was working for a competitor in the same corporate park), said, “Involuntary shagging has been the bane of man’s existence, since antiquity. It's finally so comforting to hear that we no longer have to endure the humiliation of walking around like we have a dead lizard clinging to our testicles.”

With this policy, the company aims to remove the stigma of nightfall and liberate men of any humiliation ensuing a nightfall.

The controversial leave policy has stirred up the panties of feminists in the nation on social media.

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