Uber Launches Taxis With Toilets In Its Driverless Cars



After its latest success with UberEATS, the world’s best location-based, taxi-hailing app, has now, for a limited edition, in limited ‘driverless’ cars, for limited markets, launched cars with full-fledged toilets.

“All my life I thought pooping was a private matter,” said Travis Kulnaick, CEO of Uber. “But my last year’s visit to India totally changed the way I pooped.”


          "The Indian edition driverless taxis will come equipped with a 5-point seatbelt that is typically found in racing cars."


Uber will be rolling out the first phase of the global project in India. The company’s co-founder, Gareth Camp, felt that India was the right country to test such a profound concept.

Travis and Gareth, who had come up with the idea of Uber when they were stranded in the middle of a sandstorm in Abu Dhabi, realised the potential of having a cab one could shit in on the move, especially in a country like India.

The Indian edition driverless taxis will come equipped with a 5-point seatbelt that is typically found in racing cars. The seatbelt will hold the shitter still and ensure that there is no shake even when riding on the wildest pothole, delivering a smooth and comfortable shit from your shithole.


          "At the heart of UberPOOP is Melissa ('Mamta’ in India), Uber's new, custom intelligent assistant, who will be in charge of driving the shitters."


Fortunately, unlike having to run through the tunnel and downloading an additional app like UberEATS, users can avail the new toilet service on the existing Uber app under the ride called 'UberPOOP’.

At the heart of UberPOOP is Melissa ('Mamta’ in India), Uber's new, custom intelligent assistant, who will be in charge of driving the shitters.

“Melissa is very unique. She is pro-gay, loves to hate Trump, and has been programmed to talk dirty in such a way as to help you shit better. She even flushes after you are done.” Gloated Gareth.

Narendra Modi, the Prime Minister of India, inaugurated the ride last evening and tweeted about the progressive venture. “Kudos @Uber. This is what we need! I urge all Indians to use UberPOOP. #MakeInIndia #SwachhBharat”

Uber will be, in three months, depending on the reception to the new ride, offering UberPOOL in UberPOOP, which would allow a seamless networking between shitters.

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